The holidays are a special time to reflect on the good things, celebrate annual traditions, and connect with friends and families. When the kids get out of school, it can sometimes bring stress in discovering things to keep them occupied during the winter break. These kid-friendly indoor and outdoor activities will help your family bond over the holidays without breaking the bank! Here are 25 things to add to your Christmas checklist you may want to include in your traditions this year.
Go on a Christmas scavenger hunt
Do a fun Christmas gift exchange
Wear Christmas sweaters
Make gingerbread houses together
Experience a family holiday lights tour
Decorate your child’s door like a giant Christmas present
Holiday movie night
Go caroling at the local hospital or nursing home
Make ornaments together
Donate toys to a toy drive
Send holiday cheer to soldiers stationed overseas with a care package
Arts & crafts making paper snowflakes
Bake holiday cookies together
Holiday party games (pin the tail on the reindeer, pin the nose on the snowman)
Write a letter to Santa or the elves
Rent holiday books from the local library
Roast marshmallows or make smores’ together
Have a “campout” indoors under the Christmas tree
Attend a Christmas musical or see the Nutcracker
Have an indoor snowball fight
Play Christmas song bingo
Take a holiday family photo together
Bake a fancy Christmas dinner as a family
Play a family board game/do a Christmas puzzle together
Make popcorn and cranberry garland for the Christmas tree
I’m sure you’ve heard that saying before, and I think it applies perfectly to the fields of psychiatry and psychology. When a psychiatrist and psychologist work collaboratively by sharing information about their patient, a greater picture is presented, for both clinicians, to make a more informed assessment and treatment approach. The same holds true when medication and psychotherapies are combined when indicated.
Sadly, I cannot tell you how many times I have heard someone say, “I feel comfortable doing therapy, but NO WAY am I taking medications,” or “I don’t need to talk to someone, just let me take a pill and be done with it.” If you’ve found yourself saying either of these, don’t be alarmed, you are not alone. In fact, before I started studying psychiatry, I found myself thinking along those same lines. Mental Health has been shrouded in a cloud of stigma for many years. We have come a long way in the past 10 years by creating a more open dialogue, but our journey to a better understanding of mental health, among the general population, is far from over. The negative view of mental health still affects how people approach their care today.
Many psychiatric treatment protocols include psychotherapy as an important and complementary part of the treatment program. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is considered the first line of treatment for borderline personality disorder. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), alongside the administration of an SSRI, has been shown to improve outcomes in comparison of utilizing one or the other in those suffering from depression and anxiety. PTSD is another great example of how the use of both provides greater success for the patient. Oftentimes, pharmacological approaches are treating the comorbidities of PTSD (Anxiety, depression) and psychological approaches are targeting the core symptoms of PTSD (Stahl, 2013). There is even growing research for the effectiveness of cognitive behavioral therapy among those who suffer with schizophrenia. Research has shown that in utilizing psychotherapy as part of the treatment, the antipsychotic medication is then leveraged to its fullest potential (Stahl, 2013).
This may sound scary to someone worried about taking medications or baring their soul to a therapist they just met, but I like to think of it as having two brains, literally and metaphorically, working together to get you back to your fullest potential.
Stahl, S.M. (2013). Stahl’s Essential Psychopharmacology (4th ed.). Cambridge, United Kingdom: University Printing House
I will never forget the first time I went to therapy. I was going through a divorce and desperately trying to save my marriage. I cannot remember why or how we ended up with the therapist that we did but I did not do any research beforehand. I simply followed blindly and hoped for the best. We had only made it through 2 full sessions before the therapist suggested that we continue with our therapy separately….and that is all she wrote.
I never felt any type of connection with her or that I was given the opportunity to let that therapeutic relationship evolve. She seemed disinterested once she thought that our marriage was doomed for failure. How could she know after only having met us twice? How would anyone know that? We did end up divorcing and I have been happily remarried for a blissful 13 years, but I often wonder how my healing process would have been different if I was offered a safe place to learn how to heal in a healthy, more productive way.
When you are making decisions regarding your mental health, there are several considerations to keep in mind. Selecting the right therapist plays an important role in your healing journey. From my own personal experience and the knowledge that I have obtained as an Office Manager for North Texas Counseling Associates, I have put together a few suggestions that will hopefully help you find the right therapist and assist you in getting the most out of your therapy.
Know What You Want.
Often, we have no idea what we want out of therapy, we just know that things are off balance in our life and want someone to make sense of what we are experiencing. This is completely NORMAL! If you find yourself feeling unsure, ask yourself these questions:
What type of hardships am I currently experiencing or have experienced in my past?
How are my thoughts, my emotions or my feelings affected by these experiences?
How has my day-to-day life changed because of these difficulties? Ideally, what do I want my day-to-day life to look like.
What do I hope to get out of therapy and/or gain for myself?
On the off chance that you do know what you are seeking out of therapy, being upfront and honest about this with yourself and a therapist will aid you in finding someone that is closely suited to your needs.
Keep an Open Mind
Remember that you are looking for a therapist, not a best friend. Sometimes what you hear in therapy can be uncomfortable, but you do not want to choose someone that is hesitant to share with you what you need to hear. Keeping an open mind to the idea that it could get more difficult before it gets better will encourage your own personal growth and can offer insights that you may not have considered before.
In her article, ‘The Benefits of Being Open-Minded’, Dr. Jan Dunn says, “If you are not open to other ideas and perspectives, it is difficult to see all of the factors that contribute to problems or come up with effective solutions. In an increasingly polarized world, being able to step outside your comfort zone and consider other perspectives and ideas is important. This doesn’t mean that being open-minded is necessarily easy. Being open to new ideas and experiences can sometimes lead to confusion and cognitive dissonance when we learn new things that conflict with existing beliefs. However, being able to change and revise outdated, or incorrect beliefs is an important part of learning and personal growth.”
Convenience is Key
If you were trying to improve your physical health and decided to join a gym, would you choose a gym that was not easy to get to or whose hours made it difficult for you to put in the time needed to work out? The same should be considered when you are searching for a Mental Health Provider. Where are they located in relation to your home, work, or child’s school? Do they do teletherapy? How far out are they booked? What are their office hours? If you can, getting on a weekly reoccurring schedule, at least initially, can benefit your progress in many ways. It can alleviate the stress of having to move and shift schedules around when you know ahead of time when your sessions will take place. No different than what you would do for a doctor’s appointment and just as important. It can also foster the therapist/client relationship. Although you want the relationship to develop organically, the sooner there is a mutual trust and respect between the two parties, the sooner you can begin your journey to personal growth. If there is too much time in between sessions, it could cause you to remain guarded and invulnerable for a longer amount of time.
You can find someone that is close in proximity to your home or is not afraid to tell you like it is, but if you do not have a connection with your therapist, it is all for naught. All the MAGICAL healing work happens in this space. Without that sense of rapport, there is little to no trust and without trust, you may find it difficult to be honest and vulnerable. If you are not comfortable enough to talk about your feelings, your thoughts, or your behaviors authentically then there is less of an opportunity for growth and healing. “Generally, the best predictor of success in therapy is rapport – feelings of trust and respect between the participants, a therapeutic alliance. When there’s no rapport, there is no therapy. “ – Dr. Noam Shpancer
Lastly, but certainly not least, is consistency. Consistency is key. Think about it. How do you learn another language? How do you learn how to ride a bike? How do you improve your physical health or learn a new trade? Consistency. It is no different with your mental health. Your mental state is IMPORTANT and should be treated as such. If you want to improve your emotional well-being, then you must commit to taking the steps to get there.
If you can avoid it, barring some catastrophe, try not to cancel or reschedule your appointments. There is a reason why your therapist has scheduled you for these sessions. They want the same thing for you as you do. It is no different than a regular teeth cleaning at your dentist or taking a full dose of anti-biotics prescribed to you. Rather than stopping your therapy when you feel better, continue with your scheduled sessions, and stick with the treatment plan you and your therapist have come up with. It is vital to your progress and maintaining a healthy mental state.
Finding someone that recognizes your needs and your mental health goals is a personal choice and should not be taken lightly. What is important is that a therapist’s method is patient specific and is based off the client’s personal goals and experiences. The search may feel somewhat daunting in the beginning, but YOU are WORTH it! When you find the right therapist, you will find that all your efforts will have paid off in the end.
It seems like every year the summer season gets shorter and shorter, and before you know it autumn hits (or what passes for autumn in Texas). For many adults this shift doesn’t significantly affect their day-to-day routine. However, for children this change is often huge. Gone are days filled with camps and vacations (or if they’re like me as a child, hours-long SpongeBob SquarePants marathons); children return to a world occupied by school and extracurricular activities.
While the period before school starts is a time of excitement, it can also result in increased stress for many children. Kids often experience anxiety related to things happening at school, from exams and assignments to sport tryouts and where to sit in the cafeteria. Add in the fact that many kids will be returning to in-person learning after a difficult year of virtual schooling, and it’s no wonder that many kids view the upcoming schoolyear with anxiety and apprehension. Below are tips to help parents support their kids in managing their stress and worries related to school so that they can start the year off on the right foot!
Communication is key. Many kids struggle to put their fears into words, or they may not be aware that they are experiencing school-related anxiety. It’s important to create a space for kids to feel comfortable voicing their concerns and to process and explore the anxiety they’re experiencing. Let them know that it’s ok to worry, and that you are there to support them whenever they need it.
Coping skills can reduce stress. Coping skills are strategies that we use to help lower our stress levels. Things like deep breathing, talking to family and friends, or reading a book can all help kids learn to regulate their emotions in times of distress. It may also be helpful for parents to discuss their own experiences with stress and use of coping skills with kids, to model helpful behavior and teach kids that it’s ok to take a step back and breathe when feeling stressed or anxious.
Work within your circle of control. Too often we attempt to exert control over situations we can’t influence, and when we inevitably fail, we experience frustration, sadness, and shame. Help promote self-efficacy by encouraging children to recognize when a problem may be outside of their control, such as issues with school assignments or peer behaviors. By encouraging children to develop the skills needed to cope with (instead of eliminating) distress, parents can increase children’s confidence in their abilities and promote a sense of mastery and independence.
Promote self-compassion. Unrealistic expectations and negative thinking are hallmarks of stress and anxiety. Many children have a tendency to strive for perfection in school-related activities, such as academics, extracurricular activities, and social interactions. Help children realize when the standards they have set for themselves are unhelpful and unrealistic, and encourage them to develop goals that promote grace and consideration toward themselves.
Physical health is important, too. Our minds and bodies are inextricably connected, and when our bodies don’t feel well our minds can struggle, too. Help kids take care of their bodies by encouraging a balanced diet, a structured sleep routine, and lots of physical activity.
Written by Courtney Sanders, M.S. (Ph.D. Practicum Student)
Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart: it requires a high demand on time, energy, and attention in caring for the kids and the family. Unfortunately, this usually means that parents’ own needs will take a backseat and are quite often neglected. When parents stop caring for themselves, stress can cause disastrous consequences on their health and can eventually affect relationships with their children and partners.
Beating stress and caring for yourself might simply feel just like another thing to cross off an endless “to-do” list as a parent, but the important thing to remember is that self-care doesn’t require a big-time commitment. Start by adding 5 minutes of self-care to your day, wherever it fits best in your schedule.
The best parenting advice is to take care of yourself—self-care ensures that we can conquer all the challenges of parenting wholeheartedly, and in the process model the importance of caring for ourselves to our children.
Here are 30 ideas of how you can incorporate self-care into your life as a busy parent:
Spend 5 minutes stretching after you wake up.
Enjoy a special treat, such as a fancy coffee, tea, or dessert.
Take a long shower or soak in a bubble bath.
Get a manicure or pedicure.
Buy yourself flowers that make you happy.
Spend time outdoors (hiking, biking, walking, etc.).
Watch a movie or show.
Buy a new book and spend 10-15 minutes reading daily.
Laugh! Find things that make you laugh (funny videos, blog, stories, etc.).
Take a 5-minute walk in the sunshine.
Allow yourself to cry.
Play a game alone or with friends.
Have a pillow fight with your partner or kids!
Keep a journal.
Take a get-away trip with your partner (without your kids).
Listen to an audiobook or podcast while driving.
Try to disconnect from work when not at work.
Ask for help (let your kids and partner make dinner, do the dishes, etc.).
Participate in a group activity you enjoy.
Set aside romantic time with your partner
Take a dance class
Buy a candle that you like and burn it throughout the house.
Order pizza or Door Dash dinner one night.
Spend 5 minutes meditating at any point in your day.
Sleep. Try to get a solid 7-8 hours a night.
Skip the chores for one day!
Buy yourself a new outfit or pair of shoes.
Paint a craft (sew, knit, make jewelry, etc.).
Practicing self-care, especially as a parent takes intentionality and support. Leave yourself sticky notes throughout the house as a gentle reminder to give yourself permission to take a break. No single self-care idea will eliminate all your parenting stress, but combining several practices, even if it’s only 5 minutes at a time will improve your mood, improve your parenting, and make your daily life more satisfying.
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